Dream Keeps on Banning People on Wont Give Me Ownership Again
So its been a year since me and my ex broke up, we both briefly dated around and four months ago I told her I even so had feelings for her. She never gave me a straight answer but I gave her numerous ultimatums, either we were gonna endeavor and go dorsum together or she needed to leave me alone. Well she wanted to have her cake and eat it too because she did neither ane or the other, all she did was tease me into having hope simply to let me down time and fourth dimension again. Lately she even admitted to still having feelings for me while not wanting to become back together, but at the aforementioned time she doesnt want to leave me alone, she cries and complains that im non at that place for her and is really persistant in trying to exist my friend fifty-fifty though i dont want to, everytime she says ok Ill respect that you dont waant me in your life but she ends upwards calling me after a week or then. Isnt it obvious that she still loves me, I mean there are so many other things that make me think she does yet she doesnt want to be with me. could it be that everytime she comes back crying I just come on too stiff and information technology makes her back away... or maybe she just wants what she deceit accept and every bit soon every bit she sees that she nonetheless has me she cools off... This has gone on long enough i desire her to sympathize that she stands to lose me forever but everytime I think she has come to that realization she shows me she hasnt..... Thanks for your help
#2
11 years agone
Go out her alone. If she calls, don't option information technology up. They are just having you on the side. Before y'all even know it, she volition take a beau and still she will contact you. She won't empathise how yous feel and either will anyone else. No matter how much she wants to go far touch with yous, be the strong i and simply don't get in touch with her. It volition simply hurt besides much and you lot volition e'er end up disappointed and dislocated.
I am in the same gunkhole...my ex contacts me afterwards every 4 to v days. He has a gf...and whenever we talk, it leads me to believe he however has feelings.
Don't contact. That'southward the just way you can get out of it. No matter what happens. And yeah...start dating... 😊
Good luck
#3
11 years agone
only i mean if they exercise this.... if they want contact so bad and desire us in their lives this bad they why dont they but wanna exist with us ?
#4
11 years ago
I don't know and they don't know. I don't think anybody knows.
End trying to go answers. It volition drive you crazy.
Because logically it makes sense...and they will say the greatest things about you...like how you are the best thing to happen to them, how they were happy with yous etc etc nevertheless they won't commit to yous.
Just let it get and accept what it. Stop thinking about why because nobody knows the answers and nobody knows how to help you or them...I only know this because it is the same matter with me...my ex still says I am all this and that yet he is with someone else 😖
Have you started dating?
#5
eleven years ago
i dated for a while only Im having a hard time connecting with anyone one more than than a physical level.
#6
11 years ago
Hello Mike89,
I tin can tell you this quite simply: People don't always empathise what compels them to do certain things. Sometimes, information technology may exist that they practise even so care for you, simply honestly are non at a betoken where they tin make up one's mind whether or not that is enough to overcome fears of commitment, rejection, etc. These people are continually only thinking in the bubble about themselves, and they are non considering how their actions may really injure someone. A person who is Ready for a human relationship will consider how you feel and put your needs beside their ain. And you've already told her how her actions take injure y'all and she does it anyways because she isn't internalizing what y'all say. She is not ready.
What you lot are doing , however, is fueling her behavior past constantly giving ultimatums that honestly, you're not ready to follow through on. If you meant what you said, y'all would have left already. Never exercise this; it only makes her feel similar yous "cry wolf" and are wishy washy, and y'all end upward feeling like a pushover and angry at yourself later. Even if you force her to submit, is that the fashion you envisioned being with her?
Sometimes, people don't get what they've lost until it'southward gone. Merely inquire yourself seriously: would yous desire to spend your life with someone who you accept to threaten just to become them to see they love you? people who are afraid of dear will are not partners you want to be with, and I practice beleive that in love at that place are no 3rd or fourth chances here.
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#7
xi years ago
that was really a great reply thank you. Honestly though i was ready to follow through on every ultimatum i gave her merely every fourth dimension she only finds a way to make me think that things have changed on her side. One time it was her asking me to sleep over, another fourth dimension it was her crying telling me she had realized a agglomeration of things and this last time was her absolutely insisting on having me in her life and telling me she was set up to acknowledge she still had feelings for me (which is a large step for her) Anyway i told her that I couldnt do this anymore and she said that she finally understood why she couldnt have me in her life and that she would respect my decision... the only problem is she's said that in the past. We'll see what happens i guess
#eight
11 years ago
wow guys, and then much info.... 😊
my x and i broke up 3 and 1/2 months ago, we both cannot permit either of us get, i want her more anything, and i have stock-still simply about everything that went wrong with us, or should i say me, and the situation i was in, at present we have been spending nigh every day over the concluding two weeks seeing each other, kissing, hugging, being there for one another, we have slept together once likewise, she says to me that she isn't sure if she can be with me in a proper relationship coz if we practice become back together it will be for the rest of her life, she is unsure of forever... I am ever the 1 she calls whenever annihilation goes wrong, even when she had a 6 week stint with this one guy and **** striking the fan, i was still the one she called..... she stays over and spoons with me, she even asked me to stay at her place, we get naked in front of each other, caress each other when we're in bed or anywhere that seems to be comfortable for us to show how we experience towards each other, asks me why aren't i hugging her when i don't, passionately kiss each other goodnight and adieu when she leaves and at times that just fits.... she makes just equally much contact every bit i do, if not more, merely i practice show more than emotion that her, she cannot say she loves me 'still' that she wants to not put a characterization on the states 'yet'...
#ix
xi years ago
I am in the verbal same situation man, but on a shorter calibration. We accept only been autonomously for 3 months, and she all the same contacts me. She tells me she loves me and wants something to work out down the line, but for now she wants to be friends. Nevertheless she is still affectionate with me when we come across each other, and started sobbing when i gave her that same ultimatum that y'all did. I felt bad for putting that kind of pressure level on her, merely i felt i needed to practise it. She however contacts me but says she still wants cipher more than friends "right now". It has me confused and upset, but i am trying to movement on. Information technology just seems that whenever my twenty-four hour period is going well without her, she will text me or something. Then many mixed signals. What the hell is going on? I have no idea. But i desire to discover a girl who is proud to exist with me and wont lead me in circles like this. I am so in love with her still, only I am seeing her every bit the real person she is for the first time. If she can treat me similar this, and so she isnt worth my time.
#10
11 years ago
People oftentimes throw out every carte they accept to keep what they want for themselves. This doesn't mean they have whatever intention of changing their behavior or validating your feelings. If she is all talk and no actions still, then take it for what it is: No thing what excuse she gives you, the situation hasn't changed.
#xi
11 years agone
ive been in a relationship 5 yrs, weve had our fights and broken upwards twice, things got complicated when she had to move away to another continent for her job. We talk every day jus about only on a recent trip to see her i had a strange feeling and then i snooped and i found an one-time cell with a drity pic from a guy to her and dirty texts back and forth. i confronted her and she said she but wanted to know how i felt when i cheated the first yr we dated which seems like a lie. she as well said they didnt really do anything? and never had sexual activity. and so i institute a notation from a co worker that basically said thanks for being a special friend and more? wtf does that mean? now last night she tried to call me and bbm me but i was asleep then i run into on her messages on fb that she and this guy were talking. what made me question it all was he said they could get meet a movie and caress she replied cuddle!? i knew yous were gay. ??? and so i asked her and she told me they had plans to hang out but she didnt even know if she wantd to. This whole 1 1/2 they were talking she tried to call me at the beginning and before . its like i wasnt there so she hopped in with some ane else. he besides said im assuming you want me to come up to your place correct? and she replies haha why cant we actually become out and do sumthin wtf is that??? she doesnt know i have this info and she is telling me alot of truth only leaving alot out. currently we are not official just she doesnt want me to see anyone else. What practice yous make of this i jus need anhonest opinion and insight.
#12
x years ago
Oh my goodness, this is and then tru! Im going through the same matter but why is it every bit soon every bit ur doing expert without them, they contact u and set u back. Lesser line, u have to cut them off cold turkey!
#13
x years ago
ya its hard but brand sure y'all kno what your doing before you lot do information technology...now its been almost five months no contact, well except for her trying to exist friends again, and i have dreams every nite that have to practice with my ex or have her in them...this is while ive completely moved on, I think, and have a gf...nada is the same...i dont even intendance almost relationships at present and it ***** bc my current gf cares for me so much and i cant requite her the same back ...its similar i accept no feelings except for when i dream about my ex....so in maxim all this brand sure if they do effort to contact you bac tha u kno its tha correct affair ta practice ta cut them off cuz thas wa im doin due north it haunts me in my dreams!!
#14
x years agone
oh i kno for a fact this is the correct matter to practise honey because he was and is nothing but bad news! merely good luck to u tho!
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#15
10 years ago
I came from ca a year and a half ago subsequently getting to know this daughter i met on a game.She really seemed to love me this year and a half.three weeks afterward getting hither she gets pregnant.she already has four other kids.well come to find out she was nevertheless shacking upwardly with her ex in beginning.he came to my place a few times while i was at work she would call me and tell me to make him leave.1 of these times he said she invited him over.he as well told me that they stayed the dark in motel about aforementioned time became pregnant.I didnt beleive him.He called her on 3 way and inquire her why she lied to me virtually inviting him over she said because thought he would not start bug he started to ask about that night and she hung upward.When i got dwelling i asked her nearly it she lied til i told her i knew from 3 way.she admitted simply denied the motel.I supported her and her 4 kids raiseing infant considering she says its mine.Now that past her divorce from him she started fights to end our relationship.at present she lives at her fathers and does not want to be with me or says she loves me anymore unless for sex i experience she has lied all along and fearfulness she just wants me for the money for babe because ex has never supported the other iv what does anyone recall ? She as well has job at present and thinks she wants to do thing on her own til she needs something includeing sex.
#xvi
9 years ago
from a brother to another brother from some other female parent, dump that beach, she's made it articulate she doesnt want annihilation more than friends.....she is ruining your life bro, u have more to come in your future
#17
9 years ago
night_orchid wrote:
Hi Mike89,
I can tell you this quite simply: People don't ever understand what compels them to do certain things. Sometimes, it may exist that they do still treat y'all, but honestly are non at a indicate where they tin can decide whether or not that is enough to overcome fears of delivery, rejection, etc. These people are continually only thinking in the bubble about themselves, and they are not because how their actions may really hurt someone. A person who is READY for a relationship will consider how you feel and put your needs beside their own. And you've already told her how her actions accept hurt you and she does it anyways considering she isn't internalizing what you say. She is not ready.What you lot are doing , however, is fueling her behavior by constantly giving ultimatums that honestly, you're not ready to follow through on. If yous meant what you said, you would take left already. Never do this; it only makes her feel like you lot "weep wolf" and are wishy washy, and you finish upwards feeling like a pushover and angry at yourself later. Fifty-fifty if you force her to submit, is that the way you envisioned beingness with her?
Sometimes, people don't go what they've lost until information technology's gone. Simply enquire yourself seriously: would yous desire to spend your life with someone who yous have to threaten just to get them to meet they love y'all? people who are afraid of love will are not partners y'all want to exist with, and I do beleive that in dearest there are no tertiary or fourth chances here.
WOW. This is the exact something I needed to read today. Thank you then much. I type up quotes or messages I read on here into my phone so when I go to text or feel tempted to text the ex, I run across those and read them over and I change my heed.
#xviii
ix years ago
This is a very interesting & insightfull read , cut consummate contact , be selfish , treat that person the fashion they are treating you .
#nineteen
8 years agone
I agree just still i am battling with letting become and keep thinking he will modify his heed equally time apart volition cause regrets. My ex has had his mobile number for years and reluctant to alter it but i know he is finding it hard feeling apprehensive thinking i might telephone call and dont..i know we still love each toehr and he is in touch with his exes only doesn't honey anyone the fashion he loved me...he knows i am the aforementioned...nosotros are doomed if he won't commit and reespect me by telling his exes to be friends with me or butt out...secetly coming together hem gutted me and was the biggest trouble as i dont believe in being secretive...if ypou are then something is wrond...but no matter how hard i try to brainwash myself to motility on simply an email makes me flakey! NO CONTACT for at to the lowest degree a year!!!
#20
viii years ago
Hi I read your response and I would like to get advice on my state of affairs from you. My swain of 9yrs broke up with me a month ago Because of our Arguments. Yet he still acts like we are together the vision of u.s. never seeing each other or talking to each other makes him sick merely still says he loves me still wants to spend fourth dimension with and plus we alive together now But he says he wants to have it slow he doesnt know what the future holds for us so he wants to accept it day by day. Considering his biggest fear is to do information technology once again and we bump heads. Now to his friends, co workers and family he even so says im his girlfriend this is very strange my question to you is should i be patient and agreement,and give him space and time or should I back off remind y'all 9yrs is not something i want to throw away
#21
8 years ago
What if we have kids together
#22
eight years ago
ix Years and no ring? lmao what are you doing wasting your fourth dimension with him?
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#23
viii years ago
met a new girl everything going fine until ex boyfriend comes back on seen told me to give her infinite three weeks ,he treated her like **** i done everything 4 her now ,she told me she nevertheless loves ex and is dorsum with him but she still wants to telephone and text me,she says she understands my feelings but why is she doing this rubbing my nose in it she tells me she cant say goodbye to me shes ***** my head up with this ****
#24
8 years ago
Very true, I cruel in love with a girl who latched on and fabricated me think all is well so i constitute out shes meeting up with other men and wont let me go. She pulls this friends **** and it never works because I wait with the promise of existence with her so I'g kicked to the curb again. Recently I started dating again and she saw me with the girl and texted and called as if she wanted be back. So when I come back all was good for one week and then shes back to seeing other men! She wants to exist able to do what she wants and have me hanging back until I'm needed. It actually hurts equally I truly loved her but I will never sympathize her thinking. I wish I had never asked her out!
#25
8 years agone
My ex left me (were together 7 years) around five months ago, since and so we were in constant contact and she was regularly telling me that she can't imagine a life without me and basically kept leading me on merely always said she wanted to be friends for now. She had actually left me for another guy at her new chore, then all the time she was keeping me as a backup she was sleeping with this other guy.
Information technology got to the stage where I idea enough is enough and I was nearly to walk, but so she starts begging and pleading maxim she wants me and that she loves me and leaving me was the biggest regret of her life, and so I say if all that'southward truthful and you lot want u.s. to piece of work, end it with the other guy and quit the job as I couldn't have you withal working with that guy. She agrees and says give me a calendar week to sort everything out.
So a week afterwards she calls and says I've concluded information technology with him and quit the job, its all finally over. I was over the moon. Later that day I endeavour calling her and she ignores me for pretty much 2 days. Finally when she answers she says I want to be solitary, I don't want any guy in my life, and says she volition be changing her number equally she didn't want me or the guy to contact her!?
What the hell happened? She gave me no reasons, no closure nil, I experience like I did when she first broke upward with me, probably worse. Its similar I've been led on this whole time, I just wish she gave me answers, merely there's no manner I will ever contact her once more after this, she was so common cold during the whole thing, didn't care a jot about my feelings. It's similar ane day she wants me and wants to marry me the next she wants nothing to do with me and throw the past 7 due north one-half years down the drain.
I but tin't get my caput around the huge change in center over a period of days?? Or was everything a lie all forth?
#26
8 years ago
I've been in a similar situation for well-nigh half-dozen years,
Me and my ex broke upwards about xviii months agone simply still acted like a couple
ever since, he dosent desire to get back together it call me his girlfriend but at the
Same time isn't moving on. I know he loves me, he even says it in his sleep but won't commit! It'southward the reason we broke up, afterwards vi years he won't invite me to his home which he shares with his parents or whatsoever family events.. He always comes to my house or nosotros go out.
Delivery phobics are difficult work and no matter how much you think you can modify them you lot can't. 😖
#27
8 years ago
Wow, that pretty much summarized everything on my part too; it's so fcked up though; makes you feel desperate when all they're doing is stringing you along -.-"
#28
8 years agone
Thanks Tayna!!!!!! I concur with yous completely!!!! Now I just have to do it! The difference with my ex and many of the ex's that I've read about here, is that my ex is a complete ****. I don't know what is going on in my head. I demand to be stiff. It's just that simple.
#29
8 years ago
Honestly I know exactly how you experience. My ex was talking to his ex while we were together. She took a screen shot of their messages together and sent it to me on facebook. He was telling her that he still loves her and wants to give her another chance. I was heartbroken. Simply like an idiot I forgave him and a month later he told me he wanted to take a pause. Information technology was the worst. And then nosotros stopped talking and so later 2 months he contacted mr saying how sorry he was and he loves me. I of course gave in and told him I missed him amd loved him too. Then he told me he still didnt know who he wanted me or her. He will text me out of nowhere and tell me he isnt done with us. I dont know what to do the holidays are hither and I hate being single amd alone and feel similar my ex is merely keeping me on the side and im just an idiot thats letting him
#thirty
8 years ago
I experience you all on this state of affairs. I dated this girl for bout 16 months and I actually loved her. We have a beautiful daughter together which makes the whole thing worse. I've done alot for her and my daughter and she never shows appreciation for annihilation. And if I don't practise everything she says she won't let me see my daughter and then acts similar I'm wrong for beingness upset and hurt. I told her to leave me the hell alone bc she said she doesn't want a relationship but she never does. She wants me to practise everything for her and keep me around every bit backup. She calls me and talks to me for hours and wants to hang out but said she doesn't desire me as a bf. She doesn't take feelings for me but wants me to withal be effectually I don't get it. She says she can't trust me, that I lie, I don't care nearly my girl, I'm not man plenty for her etc. we become along then keen when we are together though and she's not being nasty towards me. I think she has mental issues and she finds whatever reason not to similar me bc she has trust bug. I have been there for everything and took care of her in the hospital fifty-fifty though she banned me from the delivery room the night before her c-department. So is she scared or is she a witch that uses me?
Source: https://www.relationshiptalk.net/ex-doesnt-want-me-yet-wont-let-me-go-6580532.html
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